"An Ode to My Carpet"

by the world renown poet, Courtney W. Stanley


Oh Carpet, Oh Carpet,
You drive me insane!
My constant vacuuming
Is growing quite mundane.

When we moved in
You were newly laid,
We felt we would not remove you
Because of the price the previous owner paid.

Your color was chosen,
But NOT by me!
Oh carpet, we started out
On the wrong foot, I'll agree!

So here we are--
Several months later.
And yes, I'll admit:
I'm a Carpet hater.

You may be for some,
But You're NOT for me.
I prefer slate, tile or wood,
Even a nice area rug, maybe?

Weiss's roast beef vomit, and Zoey's messes,
I loathe how you absorb scents abound!
In my house, if you've a sensitive nose,
Don't worry--plenty of candles are around!

You've traffic patterns and
You're accumulating spots!
Oh Carpet, the joys of living
In a home with active tots!

Oh Carpet, you truly are
A daily gloom!
You are everywhere--
EVEN IN MY BATHROOM!

However, there are benefits
To owning you, I know!
Vacuuming gives me
Some daily cardio!

For this moment, however,
You will remain in our midst.
Because there are many more
Purchases ahead on the list.

I'll probably deal with you
Until the move when our family grows.
Until that day comes,
You'll unfortunately remain under my toes!